and that's the way it was...

bordem or however you spell it becomes me

2005-11-08T18:03:00.000-08:00

wow as it would seem i move into my house in less than one week. itll be good times only crappy part is that i cant build my ramp till summer or fall next year so i remain with absoulutly nothing to ride. i really hate this because latley ive wanted to ride more than anything. me and eric had a good session that invovled the cops and everything. so funny how some people call the cops on you cause they think they almost hit you in the street. i guess flying from the coop parking lot over the entire sidewalk and landing in the street can take a person by surprise lol. work is good, its getting colder. its raining and i want to bike i should shower but i dont feel like it. holly is working again. ive been in my pjs since i got home from work and i dont want to get out of them....

the check engine came on in my car again today boo hiss. so glad to have to not worry about money for a while. things are tight but i have enough. full time ministry you say? i started to play my guitar again but soon i wont cause ill be addicted to cleaning my house and playing nintendo and watching bike vids and doing 180s in my garage. i should build a huge garage ramp im sure holly would love that lol. this is my rant and i like it. im gonna go shower now for those of you who thought ewww to the above comment about not showering. but yeah.

i miss everyone

where does time go

2005-10-21T16:26:00.000-07:00

well i dont know how your guys' weeks have been but mine sure seemed to just escape under me. all of a sudden its friday again and here i am. this week was hard at work it was slower and that is never good. things overall are very good at work.

lets see heres some things that have been on my mind today/this week:
-bc skateparks
-my old abby apartment and events of the dwelling
-biking with people
-bc in general
-honeymoons
-houses
-sleep oh sleep
-britt (ironically snow patrol is playing right now for those of you who understand)
-wanting to just get away (for some reason i just really want to get up and go like just away from this blah time. this week drove me nuts.)
-blah and others etc.

for some reason this week got me down. im not sure whether its the weather or whether its some kind of attack. who knows.

anyway following the ever poplur trend...if this doesnt make you feel some kind of emotion then you should check your heart to see if you are alive...

"Run"

I'll sing it one last time for you
Then we really have to go
You've been the only thing that's right
In all I've done

And I can barely look at you
But every single time I do
I know we'll make it anywhere
Away from here

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

To think I might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbye
I nearly do

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

Slower slower
We don't have time for that
All I want is to find an easier way
To get out of our little heads

Have heart my dear
We're bound to be afraid
Even if it's just for a few days
Making up for all this mess

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

what can i say about today

2005-10-05T21:37:00.000-07:00

well it snowed alot and was very cold and wet and i was outside working. boo. i was getting blown off of trucks and struck in the head with lumber falling from trucks. overall it was okay after lunch when i got my feet dry and the weather got worse. bah. so we are trying to get a house built soon so we can live somewhere and things are starting to pick up here. hopefully well have started in a few weeks. i love working at parkside the guys there are great and the overtime rules on the paychecks. starting to miss bc a bit cause i miss biking with peeps but hey what can ya do. anyway this is for janet cause she reads this thing. yay for her.

phil

figured i should write something

2005-07-17T16:03:00.000-07:00

well i havent updated for a while. for those of you who dont know, i am indeed back in winkler for good this time.

so what have i been up to you ask? well here goes...im working at home for my stepdad doing digital photos and vinyl graphics and the like, living with my parents, waiting for new new wheels to come for my bike so i can ride again...they are in winnipeg so soon the mailman will bring them, in the mean time im digging dirt jumps in my back yard and meeting new bmx guys to ride with in this here city.

i feel alot like people dont ever hang out anymore but i guess i feel that way only cause i happen to be the only guy around these parts. i guess i feel like i cant really call someone up and do something cause thatd be weird but serioulsy we should get together like everyone and just hang out and talk for a night. other than just working and being with holly i havent been doing to much. no big plans for leaving or anything...im here for a few years anyway.

i really gotta get back to church one of these days. my lack or should i say desire to sleep has overcome me the last couple weeks. ill be there next week forsure.

hey look no tea!

2005-06-25T15:20:00.000-07:00

so yeah im in bc now. and im a little stressed cause i dont have all that much money and my job is post poned for another week cause if some crazy engineering flaw or something. anyway so i guess for now ill just be living in my car slash couch riding for another week. some people have the most comfortable couches. anyway. last night was pretty fun i rode in couquitlam with everyone again. i learn really funny looking 360 turndowns out of the quarter pipe. they are fun. anyway im just bored today its a little hot and there arent many people at the park. i played guitar for a bit and had a slurpee. tonight maybe ill ride again. well i will ride again. still trying to get ahold of my boss to see if i can work this week somewheres else so i can have money. anyway i have nothing else to say.

a cup of tea anyone?

2005-05-21T11:58:00.000-07:00

so im at my gram's house in killarney manitoba right now. we just sat down for a cup of tea it was so nice. its good to be back and to catch up on everything that is happening is my familys lives.

kendra lori marce cherise and jen came over last night that was nice. kendra and marce came for pizza supper and we had strawberry kiwi smoothies cause im on a kick right now. then we had a fire and went out for ice cream. it felt good to have friends again. ahh yes. im going to the ranch on monday to visit eric and do some biking. i think cherise and kendra are coming with me. its gonna be so fun.

im still waiting to find out when i go back to BC. i hope its not to soon cause itd be nice to have somemore time here with family.

well its really windy here so i think ill blow away now. ahhhhhhhhh

phil

God is at work

2005-05-19T21:39:00.000-07:00

do you ever find yoruself somewhere talking to someone and you never planned it. and then you end up being totally encouraged and effected by that conversation.

i had one of those nights tonight. i was talking to someone and he really lifted me up and showed me what i needed to be shown. and that is that i need to trust in God. its funny cause at the gate the trench series that i was there far a part of was about trust and i was touched by that and now this. i really felt God just speaking to me tonight. i need to be less concerned about things and just let God handle them. have faith like a child...so true. dont stress out over decisions pray about it and have trust that God will do good no matter what and that he will influence our decisions. ive decided to go to BC again. i feel that God has big plans for me this year and that vancouver island is where i am going to be. i want to be a missionary and a pastor but not the kind that you think of i want to just be a christian and do what God has called of me. i feel that God is going to use me to reach people at skateparks and busstops and coffee shops and at my work place and just everywhere. the trick is letting him. churches are good for people who have faith and want to grow. only a small percentage of those searching will find a church. if someone has a deep faith issue cahnces are they arent going to end up at your church snuday morning or at your church plant or in mexico at the house you are building. they are going to be sitting there at tim hortens or starbucks drinking coffee and wracking their brains. or at the skatepark or deliverign your mail. in the park or on the bus. that is where i feel i need to reach people. now im not meaning to belittle churches and missionaries who do other sorts of things because that is needed as well but im saying that you who are in the world. going to school and working. you to are missionaries talk to people let them tell you about their lives tell them about yours. sow the seeds, dont force feed them with yuor faith but instead let them ask you. be the light that God has called us to be.

phil

party at my parents house

2005-05-18T21:15:00.000-07:00

so im having a party. on friday at my house cause my parents are gone. so yeah itll be at 6pm. if you want to come for supper ill buy some of those good ol cheap pizzas from superstore. give me a shout if you want to come for supper with me so i can get enough food for everyone. oh and if you come for supper bring a 2L of pop. spread the word cause i dont want to.

anyway this town is terribly boring and i need something to do. maybe i'll climb a tree or something. or whatever.

nothing to grand has been happening lately just got home from lethbridge alberta and i love it there. the slurpees are so good. before that i was in calgary, banff, and British columbia. i think i want to go back to vancouver island. it'll be interesting to see what happens in the next while in my life.

call me and let me know about friday.
phil

visit the gate...

2005-05-18T18:47:00.000-07:00

hey check out the gates webpage and listne to some of the messages if you find yourself bored.

www.thegate.org

what to do in this town...

2005-05-18T18:41:00.000-07:00

so i find myself yet again home in winkler. today i went biking and much like the old days there is nothing to ride around here. i heard that there are some new bikers around though and this is exciting. ive started using an emac rather than my parents other computers and i like it very much. its very different using an apple computer and one thing i dont like is that msn messenger is not quite as advanced as it is for PC. thats okay though.

ive been reading a blog written primarily by Phil Baker, he is a pastor from perth australlia. ive heard some of his stuff from cd and i like it. check out his blog...www.philbaker.net.

well im not to sure what to do right now maybe ill go out and do some more biking or something. talk to you all soon.

phil

im back

2005-05-17T22:23:00.000-07:00

hey everyone im back in winkler and who knows for how long so if you want to see me we better plan. hollys not here till the 24th so im pretty much wide open. im gonna head out to the ranch i think one of these days and maybe out to warrens if he still has dirt jumps or if hes even still in winkler. but yeah call me, you know the number and if you dont shame on you. hahaha. well i hope rain doesnt happen tomorrow i want to ride "street" like the old days. good times. by for now.

phil

things change and so do people

2005-05-14T04:10:00.000-07:00

hello again.

well im still in lethbridge alberta. right now its 4am and im lying in joels bed(he is in a tent out back sleeping...oh joel) anyway i cant sleep. like the past week i still cannot sleep. there is so much going on inside my head i just cant put myself to sleep. i was all set to come home and take a break and move to the city in the fall but it looks as though things are about to change. if all goes well ill be in nanaimo bc at the beginning of june working with the same construction crew as i was when last in bc. ill be there for 9 months or there about. i kind of debated this point and now i think ill go. ill be home on wednesday sometime who knows when. i wonder when ill stop. i wonder when ill finally settle in one place for more than 10 months. it hasnt even been two years and ill have lived in winkler twice, lethbridge and abbotsford. three cities and three provinces. soon to be yet another city. i wonder. where ill be in two years. will i be here in lethbridge or in bc? manitoba? the north pole? what will i be doing. there is so much going on right now you only know the half of it. my thoughts are so crowded there is no room for more. my stress levels are on high, im nervous and scared and anxious and calm. happy and yet sad, decided but undecided. im living my life to have fun. im young and i want to enjoy my youth and experience the "world" of canada. lol yay for canada. im only nineteen. and i will be for another almost four months. ive done so much before i reached twenty i cant imagine waht i will accomplish before i turn thirty. will i have a business or a ministry kids a wife. man thats scary. anyway im not really tired at all and i most likely wont sleep any time soon but i should try at least.

if you get a chance today go outside and find a tree and some grass and sit under that tree. at a park or somewhere where you can stare at nature stare at life being lived. and think. think about your life and what youve done. think about how awesome God really is. did you know that there is a type of rock that scientissts have fount to have a glow. they say that this kind of rock that has been discoverd was formed in an instant and never had a chance to cool and thus has a glow about it. interesting...if that were the end of this discovery. this rock sample was taken from the rocky mountains. think about that for a second and tell me that God isnt awesome. yeah

drink the living water and never go thirsty again.
phil

in good company

2005-05-10T23:56:00.000-07:00

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:11-13 TNIV Bible

i am really starting to like this translation. being in lethbridge has helped me to see that life is what you make it. i can be happy anywhere i am. all i need is a few close friends a good church and some money.

God you can always trust, man will let you down. tis' true. trust in God
phil

yup

2005-05-09T22:52:00.000-07:00

so im still in leth contemplating life and what about it is fun and all. having a blast with joel and rocking the gate and the skatepark just like old times. today joel and i went downtown to visit king of trade, then off to extreme pita where i had my usual. the gate was awesome. it was the first time i had ever been to the trench on monday night. i was awesome to hear everyone there and how much of a loving group it truly is.

for those of you who arent familiar with the trench it is directed towards leaders in ministry and how we can deal with things that arise sort of thing. tonight we talked about trust and what to do if we break someones trust. it was awesome to learn about that and see how i can apply it to my life. i honestly missed the gate so much i had forgotten how much it made me enjoy going to church. we went bowling tonight and i bowled 144 and 153. not to bad i suppose. anyway im going biking tomorrow and maybe ill watch the amazing race. well ill leave you with some scripture that i recieved through email. i get daily verses from tinsdale or something. its kinda fun. anyway here you go...

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. Do not put out the Spirit's fire. Do not treat prophecies with contempt but test them all; hold on to what is good, reject whatever is harmful. May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-23 TNIV Bible

God Bless

riding in the sky

2005-05-04T00:39:00.000-07:00

so today rocked i started out in kirkstone at a sweet park then went and rode the seylynn bowl which was built in the late 70s. after that i went a rode park gate and hastings. fun i relearned feeble grinds to hop over on the spine. then i went to coquitlam and chilled there till late. i also relearned tire taps and 180 barspins as well. i got to ride with dustin guenther hes a pro. we had some good talks about when he used to live in lethbridge and what there is to ride there now. and we talked about tricks and his new frame that is coming out. it was awesome. and he even cheared when i landed my barspin 180. im having such a blast out here and im meeting so many nice people its fun.

tomorrow i leave for banff. and thursday i plan to snowboard from open to close at sunshine village then ill be off to calgary to ride at millenium. so much fun. then friday ill ride millenium again then off to lethbridge for a while then home. oh itll be good to be home. but i wont have anything to ride. maybe ill road trip to saskatoon.

okay well its time for bed so ill talk to you all later when im back in the winkler town.

greeting from the best buy parking lot!

2005-05-02T12:53:00.000-07:00

hello everyone, friends, family, friends of friends and family, pets, trees, others.

oops i got disconnected for just a minute...im back though i just had to move closer to the building. anyway im still in vancouver, right now im riding in port coquitlam cause the park just got finished so i want to ride for a bit before i dont forever. its been really nice out here im gonna miss it, but i found out yestarday from the skatepark builder who built the poco skatepark that he is building a new million dollar park at the forks starting this july and it should be done in october. sweet ill finally have something decent to ride out there. anyway i cant be to long well i guess i could be cause i have nothing else to do but hey. i miss everyone out there and ill be home soon.

oh and if you are wondering where i am i actually am in the best buy parking lot bumming wireless signals for my interwebs. hehehe. and sorry kendra i got disconnected and had to move closer to the building and you were gone when i got back.

see you all soon
phil

well here it is...

2005-04-30T02:30:00.000-07:00

so this is it. itll be a while till i can update this again but wh.o knows maybe ill steal some wireless from someone. in any case my internet will be gone tomorrow or today i guess. its been a great time out here in the west but like all good times this one to shall come to an end.

tomorrow i return the modem and sign out of my apt finish all the paper work. then its off to the port coquitlam skatepark where i will ride all day as late as i can without falling asleep. then its sleeping in my car and who knows after that. i think ill start the journey on sunday morning but who knows im in no hurry to get anywhere. joel wont be in lethbridge till the 7th and that is like in a week so i have lots of time to kill before then. but yeah

just so you know im safe and im not updating cause i have no internet. and i have nothing else to say really. see you when i see you.

phil

today was okay...

2005-04-26T22:05:00.000-07:00

the best thing about going to the skatepark is that you always know there will be someone there to ride with. always. you dont have to call anyone or go at a certain time there is always someone there. just imagine if you were to go to the hockey rink at a given time without calling anyone and there would just be people there to play with. everytime. or if you wanted to sing you could go to a concert hall and there would be a band and whatever there to back you up.

its just one of the best things about my sport and i love it. i spent 8 hours at the skatepark today having conversations about everything from online forums to selling fake items online. this one guy said that he had sold ipod photos for 500 bucks and because he said photos in the title of his item its legal. and another guy sold the box for his xbox for 150 bucks. man people are suckers i feel sorry for the people who get caught with these things. anyway it was a great day and on top of it all i got the worst sunburn ive ever had. i am a lobster. ive even got a cold water soaked towel on my shoulders. ouch. i want my mommy to comfort me. mommy. ill be home soon. anyway i should go lie down and watch a movie. have a good night and ill see you all soon.

phil

reflection

2005-04-26T00:04:00.000-07:00

one great thing about being alone is the personal time that you have to reflect upone life and whatever. tonight has been no different...

...so i was sitting at my laptop(acutally my prents) emailing someone close to me when i hear faint cries of a name. as i get up form my and walk to the balchony, muting the television as i walk, i hear 'carly'...'carly'. this sparked my interest and i sat back down to continue my email. a few minutes later i hear it again. this time a different voice all together. becoming more inclined i promptly end my email and hop on my steel work horse. its 10pm and here i am flying down the road trying to help search for this 'carly' whom i know nothing about or what even is going on. i soon discover that 'carly' is actually 'harley' a black german shepard who has gone astray. releived that the wasnt a missing girl i continued on my way hoping to maybe come across the beloved missing pet.

after scanning the area i moved on in my late night jounrey. sitting at a fountain in downtown listening to copeland in my minidisc, i observe a man approach a woman. my first thought was that this woman was indeed a prostitue. a few moments later the couple was joined by a third party, another woman. upon conversing for a short time, the threesome parted ways. the women walked around to my left and the man to my right. alerted by this i devised a quit gettaway if this was, infact, an ambush. it wasnt and i relaxed. as i turn around i see the man walking down the same path that the women just dissapeared down. going firmly on my first theory i travelled swiftly around the building to see what was to transpire from this. once around the building i find two women running hastily across a parking lot and a man running after them. they escaped after the overweightish man stopped exercising.

two somewhat odd events later i move on. biking by a crew of parking lot painters i observe their trade and move on wondering what kind of person you would have to be to take that job.

i saw the moon it was huge and orange and coming out from behind a mountain. it was glorious. so i followed it. biking for what seemed like 30 minutes i ended up by a lake where i could see the moon in all its beauty. i ditched my bike on the ground and took a spot on a stone fence overlooking the lake and the moon. it was quiet and peaceful. that is where i thought about life only to be interupted by a couple sneaking into the park behind me to do who knows what under the shadow of darkness. i sat staring at the moon for a long time thinking about what im doing with my life and where im going to go from here.

one my way home i saw a tin can fly out of a dumpster, very random on a normal night but not tonight. i lingered to find a homeless man climbing out of set dumpster. wondering if i should talk to him i decided that i would pass and went on my way. lately ive felt very called to talk to the homeless but for some reason i wont allow myself. noticing all of the late night stores closing up i realized the time and rode home.

God made the earth we live on, we made the world we live in.

Godblessyou
phil

so it really sucks out here right now

2005-04-24T15:54:00.000-07:00

this has been the nicest week ive seen in bc and im bored out of my mind. i have noone to call or visit or anything. my vacuum seems to have vanished with the girls down the hall that moved out. crappy and i just have nothing to do. i wish i could just leave but alas i cannot due to my lack of money untill friday. im worried about holly already and she has only been gone for like two days. arg. sounds like marcia is having a good time in winkler and i wish i could be there to visit with everyone again. soon though i suppose. i dont really have anything to say. i slept on the couch last night with all my windows and patio door open it was so nice it was like camping inside sorta.

whatever.

im so bored and alone

2005-04-23T14:31:00.000-07:00

so yestarday was my last day of work. yay i guess. holly and heidi are gone and that is it no more friends out here. so i have nothing to do. i cleaned my car today and the windows in my apartment. ill do laundry later i suppose. it just doenst feel like saturday cause i didnt have to take holly to mcc or pick her up and i had to buy my own lunch today.

so i have one week to entertain myself with cleaning and biking so we'll see how that goes. maybe ill go on an adventure. hmmm. nah

if you are super bored you can call me if you feel rich or your parents do. hahaha

604 - 851 - 5197
only one week of this phone number left lets make the best of it eh
phil

letting life pass me by

2005-04-11T19:26:00.000-07:00

recently ive been on a personnal quest to find awesome bands and tell noone. hee hee ha(sarcastic). so anyway i freakin cant wait to get out of this hole and leave it behind in my dust. man. pleasing people is crap and i want to snowboard. im going biking right now even though i should cut my nails. only 9 days of work and my word for today is indeed. dont know why dont care either. see you when i see you.

phil

hello yet again

2005-04-08T20:00:00.000-07:00

so i figured i should update you all on what exactly is going on in the land of phil. well i have only three weeks left out here in bc. two weeks of work and one week of fun and biking. then its off to lake lousie and sunshine village for two days of snowboarding goodness. upon leaving the area i will go to calgary and bike at millenium for a day or so and then off to lethbridge where i will hopefully spend a couple of weeks as a couch nomad. hey joel remember what happened last time i stayed at your house. i ended up staying...probably not this time though.

i may have found a place in winnipeg for the late summer. im living with james fehr and jason peters of winkler. yay winkler. anyway this place is great its like right close to alterego sports on pembina and its awesome. 800 square feet witha fireplace and a pool basket ball court great view dishwasher airconditioning laundry 3rd floor. all for only 783 everything included. yippee. i like place hunting. so yeah.

things have been crappy out here weather wise with the rain and all but hey. im gonna watch heartlands again tonight. its so good. and its the weekend yay. that means i get to do whatever i want to tomorrow. nothing it is. or maybe biking or shopping at mcc or value village.

aparently i am going out to starbucks for "coffee" so anyway love you all and ill see you soon. yay im coming home. yay. did i mentoin yay.

joel i see you sooner than the rest yay again.

enjoy the sun while it still shines
phil

inner being changing feeling

2005-04-03T23:04:00.000-07:00

alot is happening in life right now. what with me living alone for the first time or getting ready for another adventure. life right now seems to just be floating by and all i can do is not really care to much. only three weeks left of work and only two weeks until my love will be placed in europe. myself is changing. i feel gentle and calm as if i can just relax for once in the silence that is my home. i feel carefree for the first time in a while. ive got money and a home and a soulmate. i went and bought a snowboard, it was on sale. i figured it was time to pick up something sorta new a change from the norm of things. biking working sleeping watching tv. i needed a change. and my hair. well tomorrow i say goodbye as i will be parting with it. its time for a change of life, a change of habit, of comfortability. just a change. oh and if you want to just relax, take a night and rent "heartlands". watch it alone and just enjoy life. okay.

live to change and love to live
goodnight

i saw fred today

2005-03-31T20:00:00.000-08:00

hey so today sucked straight up. i didnt want to get out of bed cause we had a huge party last night and so i only got like 4 hours of sleep for the 5th or 6th day in a row. plus today at work i got hit in the face with a hammer. that sucked. my jaw is sore. anyway its rainy here today and i hate it. my roommate is moving out tomorrow so itll be nice and quiet around here. i like the quiet. i bought bindings today cause they were only $50 bucks. from my roommate. awesome.

so yeah i was drving down the highway today and i saw fred my old firefighting roomy driving along side me. poor guy wasnt in the HOV(carpool lane). anyway my train of thought is lost. bye then

phil

where does my life go to?

2005-03-24T21:21:00.000-08:00

so i figured i should let you all know that i am still alive. hello. so things out here are pretty crazy. my parents will be here this weekend and my last day of work is april 22 and im moving on the 3oth of april and my roommate is leaving next friday so i get the whole place to myself for a whole month. awesome. my elbow hurts alot cause i slammed it on the concrete after i flipped over doing a manual at the skatepark. its been nice here but rain is a coming. i miss everyone and ill see you soon. i miss joel and eric alot. i want to ride something made of wood very soon. my bike needs repairs. i have tomorrow off and i get paid, i love stats. other than that things are pretty normal. oh i bowled a 193 the other day. yeah i was pretty excited. k im going to go play battlefield 1942 and shoot some japs. or maybe ill be the japs. interesting.

God is so worth it.

ereh erew uoy hsiw i hcum os uoy ssim i tnac uoy tub yako sti em llet uoy raeh ot tnaw i era uoy taerg woh dna uoy gnissim tsuj dna yad lla uoy fo gnikniht flesym hctac i semitemos dna hcum os uoy ssim i

missingnessful

2005-03-16T23:52:00.000-08:00

i miss joel. that is all.

the world is one werid place

2005-03-16T17:50:00.000-08:00

hello there again everyone

so things are going not to bad out here. me and the Gman is doing greater than ever and things and stuff. i gave my 36 day advance notice that i was leaving my job and gave notice to our landlord/lady. so thats it then im coming home for sure. whether it be to the wink or out to winnipeg or to camp for the summer is yet to be determined but hey ill figure that out. i mean ill just let it happen. yeah ive been taking so many pics and having fun with the camera. it rained today but who cares cause its gonna be nice tomorrow again. i want to go biking so bad and i will maybe this weekend. hmm? i bought the incredibles today it came with free liptons sidekicks! score. i got into a "fight" not really though its a long story that ive told to many times already. but the short of it is that i got punched in the head three times at work and had to drive home alone cause the other guy ran off. anyway.

i seriouly love the perishers. so grand. okay now everyone stop and think of one time where God showed himself to you today........

good. see hes there you just have to look. i saw God today and i hope i see him everyday for the rest of my life. right now im just starting to get my groove back and im studying through galatians. its pretty good.

Gal 1:6-7 "i am shocked that you are turning away so soon from God, who in his love and mercy called you to share the eternal life he gives through Christ. you are already following a different way that pretends to be the Good news but is not the Good News at all. you are being fooled by those who twist and change the truth concerning Christ.

when i read that i thought you know its so true because we will beleive almost anything if we like it or if it benefits us. like evolution, for example. its been proven untrue scientifically(spelling) but still people beleive it cause its easier than beleiving that there is a divine being that created us. however God word is solid good and we are stupid. Stay strong and believe the good book. yeah anyway.

hold tightly the word of God

you have to sign in

2005-03-14T11:42:00.000-08:00

hey everyone when you click on my link thing its gonna tell you that its not available but all you have to do is sign into your msn account and the page will open. you know how msn can be somtimes. anyway its monday and i slept in and missed work so im going to go biking around town and kill some time. love to everyone. see you soon.

phil

just thought id write something

2005-03-13T23:02:00.000-08:00

so now that i have a digital camera im going picture crazy but anyway ive uploaded a ton of pics onto my "space" on msn. anyway you can check out bc if you want to. nothing much is different out here, its pretty normal. check you later.

http://spaces.msn.com/members/manwithaplan/

enjoy your day
phil

God is my comfort...

2005-03-08T23:59:00.000-08:00

you know i just finished writing this short thing abotu how mad i was and all that crap and then i went to the kaleo student life blog that i have been reading lately and this was writen about britt and it just made me realise how retarded i was being in my harsh out burst of rage. brittany was one of my biggest supports when i was at camp and whenever we talked. i know that if i told her what i just wrote she would give it to me straight, and the straight version in that its not to big a deal. God works in time you just have to let him.

This was writen by a guy named tyler wells and some of the facts are not quite facts but hey, youll get the jist of it. be inspired...

I miss Britt. I want to mourn with you today. I want to share and remember her life. I loved her as a friend and she was in all our hearts. But most of all, like Britt, I want to glorify God. I met Brittany in Kaleo last year. She had just left her hospitable, loving Christian home in Winkler, Manitoba. Her ‘meet you where you are’ acceptance, her inclusive love, her humility and care for others, were a reflection of her family. Growing up she was like any other kid. She got caught up in teen fads like the Spice Girls. Sporty was apparently her favorite, and even at Kaleo Spice World remained one of her favorite movies. She played sports too, even on the provincial team for softball. She didn’t give a rip about the score, she was about encouraging everyone. She liked skateboarding and snowboarding especially. Every spring break her family would spend the week together in Banff on a ski trip. However, one of the most special places for Britt was Winkler Bible camp. She worked there this past summer as the counselor for the CIT preparation program called Impact. It was in Winkler Bible camp’s CIT program that she first made her faith her own. Although she accepted Christ at a young age, and was raised in the church, that’s when her reflection of Jesus really began to grow. She was active in her church too. She was on the youth executive and very involved in the youth group. She went on a mission trip to Urban Promise in Vancouver, and dreamed of someday teaching English in Mexico or China. By the time we met her she was pretty incredible. I have so many memories of Britt that make me smile. How could you not around her? She smiled so much herself. I used to call her ‘skim milk’. Can’t you just see Britt in the dining hall in her hoody and sweats, wandering with a glass of milk, or kind of nervously chewing her fingernails, or talking with her mouth full. I can’t not smile when I think of that. I can hear myself asking her 'how are ya doing?’ and seeing her respond with a big smile and a phrase like 'just fantastic' even though everything was ‘just terrible’ at the moment. She didn’t burden anyone, including herself, in her struggles; instead Britt chose to meet you where you were. And she was so kind with her words; she rarely shared her frustrations, that is such an admirable quality. Britt was a goof too. Take a moment and imagine Brittany in high heels and a skirt, dancing in a Mennonite church to a routine from the movie ‘A Night At The Roxbury’, that’s what she did for the Christmas banquet one year. Anyone who saw her rock out at our Christmas banquet knows she didn’t hold back. She did everything with her heart! She was game for crazy stuff too, like having a bath in her bathing suit with some of the other Kaleo girls, and she knew how to take a fun gesture as well, like when I got down on one knee on the skytrain and sang Justin Timberlake’s ‘Cry Me A River’ to her. She just laughed in that hooting kind of embarrassed laugh she had, all the while muttering ‘oh my goodness’. We were at Union Gospel Mission when that happened, and it reminds me of her enormous heart for people, and how I was able to witness that in the time and care she gave to others. ‘Love is best kept by giving it away’, is something she wrote in her journal. Brittany lived it by tirelessly reaching out and listening to people. When I had listened for hours, and was seeking a change like serving in the kitchen or playing a game of ping pong with some kids in the center, Britt was still listening. She would come over after about three hours and say something like, ‘Boy, he sure had a lot to say’, but she didn’t mean it. Her heart was continually broken for others. Even as we were ending a long day she did not consider herself. Despite at least a twelve hour day, despite still needing to pray and plan for tomorrow, despite a no one-on-one conversation rule, you would turn around and she would be outside listening to three guys, pouring into their lives. Her care for others was not constrained by anything. She lived a purposeful life; loving God and loving other people. That’s why I do not understand why someone so intelligent, so Christ-centered, so passionate for others, so valuable in storming the gates of hell and sharing Christ could be taken now. Did you know she was going to return to Union Gospel Mission? Can you see her back in the inner city pouring herself out? Can you imagine her in China as a missionary? We can see these things because it is not hard to imagine her as an instrument of Christ. But if you perceive clearly, you can see that even in her death God is using Britt to draw people to Himself. Brittany emptied herself into her friend Dana and because of her passing Dana’s walls have begun to fall. There is a young man in Winkler named Kevin who has been searching hard and her death has caused a deep re-evaluation of his life. One of her co-workers, Jon, came to Winkler for the funeral and her family has been working on his heart. ‘Oh, you’re the Jon we have been praying for’, and they have fearlessly shared the gospel, speaking into his life. Through her death God is working on lost hearts. Another example is Brittany’s high school boyfriend Tyler, who says that he wouldn’t even be a Christian if she hadn’t challenged him in his faith. There is evidence in our fellowships, how much closer are we because she has been called home. God is unifying his people in this. Besides all this, there are the countless ways God is using us to speak to classmates and co-workers, and think about the worship we are giving him for the blessing of having known her.The glory of God is being revealed as Brittany continues to serve Him in death. She wouldn’t have wanted today to be about her, she would have directed the glory to God. So thank God for His good plan, and thank God for the chance to know Brittany Fehr.

spend a minute with God and just thank Him for giving us such a wonderful blessing in britt. she was truly a blessing to myself and countless others.

i am so mad

2005-03-08T23:25:00.000-08:00

so i just wrote this long entry about everything im feeling on the inside right now and then this freaking computer made it disappear. i would have to say that is about par for my life dreams goals people all just disappearing before my very eyes. i hate it! i hate bc and i hate that i dotn know what God wants for me. its driving me crazy. i miss britt and i just want to cry. i hate being strong ont he outsdie but dying on the inside. i hate having to work at a job i hate just so that i can live this life that i hate so much. i feel so useless in Gods eyes. im not doing anything for him. all i do is live my life and thats it. im trying to get closer to God work on our relationship and im making alot of progress much it seems that i lack the strength to fight. i feel so vulnerable right now. i just want to scream as my life passes away minute by minute. why isnt anyone online to talk to i know its like 2am but still you would think that somewhere someone would be able to talk. i just want to talk or type but having to type things over again is just like telling someone twice cause they werent listening. arg.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

i am so stuck in this hole and i feel so lost and alone. im sorry if i am whining or annoying you but this is how i feel and if you dont care then to bad.

cant beleive it

2005-03-05T10:39:00.000-08:00

its hard to beleive that it has been almost a week since we lost britt, jordan and jamie. i am really starting to feel more at peace about the fact that they are all having a really great time right now up in heaven and that they wouldnt want us to live our lives all sad and depressed about this.

this has been one of the hardest weeks of my life but ive pulled through with God on my side. i also know that all of you who read this have made it through. i wont ever forget the wonderful times i spent with britt and the awesome talks we had. today as i go to her funeral i am sad that i cannot share anymore of these times with her but i am also happy that she and two of God other followers and now home with our creator. they are free of this awful place we call earth.

God Bless you all as you start to live your lives again.

phil

double sided

2005-03-01T17:56:00.000-08:00

these last few days and more to come have been and will be the most difficult ive had in my life to date.

when i found out about the accident i went into shock and wasnt sure waht to feel and so far ive gone through every emotion known to man. today i tried to move on just a bit by going into work. all day i had a splitting head ache and all i could think about was brittany. i dont know how im feeling again. on one hand im so sad and im a mess inside but on the other i have to be strong and comfort those who need it like all of our impact campers that britt and amy and myself had this last summer. its so hard to tell them that she is gone. i guess i just dont know how to feel yet. i feel like i cant possibly cry any more tears but i know they are in there somewhere. its so hard to let go. i dont think ill ever really let go of her. im so greatful for this last year that i could grow so close to her. GOD is gonna work man is he gonna work right now.

God Bless you all, you are in my prayers
FIL

life on hold

2005-02-28T11:41:00.000-08:00

i didnt feel like going to work today so my boss gave me as much time off as i need. i dont really know what to do or where to go ar anything right now. i cant get images of her out of my head. i just saw her at christmas and i can remember the 2hour talk we had as i drove her home. that was the last time i saw my good friend. its raining here figures the weather would suite the mood. i just cant accept that she is gone. i look at pictures of her and think of how im not going to see her on this earth ever again. is so surreal. im so angry at something. i dont even know what im just so angry that i cant say goodbye or see her face one more time. how do you move on after this. i dont know how.

taken...

2005-02-27T23:48:00.000-08:00

what a horrible end to a day why today why this year why them. three wonderful souls taken in a breath. they will be missed by so many. i feel so angry and sad and frusterated and depressed and everything all at the same time i dotn know what is going on right now. i hate it i hate it

britter i love you and i am going to miss you so much. i wish i could have said good bye. i sit here and weep my eyes full of tears, i can barely breathe. i want to see you one last time but i cant why God why. i feel sick to my stomach thinking about it. i have lost a friend one i held close to my heart. my heart cries out to you. i know you are looking down on me right now and telling me its okay but my insides are destroyed. why why why why why why why now why you why your brother and his love. so terrible. my prayers are with your families and my mind is with you. i will never forget you and the joy you brought to my life like the joy you brought to so many. i cant write any more

life will never be the same.

FIL

we're not okay...

2005-02-26T22:23:00.000-08:00

im having a brain function at this very moment and i felt very inspired to just write. the perishers are a super awesome band.

i love living out here and yet i hate it. i love that i make 15 dollars an hour but i hate my job. i love the weather but i hate the rain. i love the skateparks but...okay i love the skateparks. i love living on my own but i hate roommates.

life always seems to be like that. you cant have your cake and eat it too. weird huh, cause what else are you gonna do with your cake if you cant eat it? oh well.

today me and holly drove to surrey and port coquitlam to shop and i got to ride the bear creek skatepark in surrey for a little while. oh and the other day i ran into jason enns and dave osato at the hastings park. so good. the parks out here rock and there are always bikers out here just rippin. i miss eric and riding with that guy man we had some good times.

actually ive been sitting here looking at pics of the peeps from lethbridge and remembering what it was like to live out there. man was that a blast. i want those days back so bad but so many things there have changed. ive changed. i hate getting older i can just feel my friends slipping away and i hate it. i cant stand the thought of never talking to someone again. i hate that. man this is getting depressing.

im gonna quit while im not crying cause i miss people so much. yeah i cry too.

i hate cars

2005-02-21T18:55:00.000-08:00

so today on my way to work, on monday no less. my brand new tire with only 6000 kms on it decides to blow out whilest i am going about 130 down the trans canada during rush hour. bad thing to happen. no fear i got to the side of the road safely. it was bitter cold and dark as thousands of cars raced by at speed limit. crappy. then one of my headlights burns out...great how could today get any worse. maybe i could hook my foot on a concrete form at work and fall face first into a pile of rocks. that could be worse...well it happened. then after work me and dallas were going to go bye handle bars for him so we could go biking but nowhere could we find any so no biking. and to top things off i have to pick holly up in horseshoe bay on wednesday and i wont have a tire by then let along can i afford a new freakin tire anyway. man today really sucked. i cant believe how bad it is.

well im going to go sit alone now and eat and watch tv and pitty myself and how horrible my next week is going to be. i hope someone had a better day than me.

we're here for a good time...not a long time...

2005-02-20T00:41:00.000-08:00

so have a good time the sun cant shine everyday!

okay so it has been a few days since i wrote in here and really i shouldnt be writing in it now cause its way to late and im supposed to be in bed sleeping. but hey i dont really care.

so im finally starting to have a bit of living money now. i still owe my parents a bit of money but other than that im free and clear. it feels so nice. i went and bought a new tool puch today cause i was borrowing one from a guy at work so now i have my own. yippee! me and holly went bowling tonight and that was fun.

that was a very random paragraph. so okay this last week was really great. the weather here has been fabulous aside from the freezing everynight the days are beautiful. after work on thursday dallas(a guy i work with) and myself stayed out in west vancouver(where i work) to do some biking. i got to go to the kirkstone skatepark and the one in port coquitlam. it was so much fun and i even learned 180 barspins and kinda one footed tables! the parks out here are so much fun. my roommate is in montreal so i have the whole apartment to myself and man is it nice i cant wait to live on my own for while. its supposed to be plus 12 tomorrow so i think im going to head out to the skatepark after church and learn something new. then its back to the grind on monday for another week of work.

oh and i cant remember if i had put this out there yet or not but there is a chance that i might be living for free on the island for a few months while i work. my company is doing a job in qualicom beach(spelling) and they are providing free living space in nanaimo and $50 allowance every week plus my wage. we'll see what happens with that. well i think its time for bed cause i have a busy day sorta tomorrow. everyone have fun out there wherever you are and remember us out here everytime you are cold. hee hee. sorry about that reminder.

i miss you all so much

will write for food

2005-02-11T20:11:00.000-08:00

so i have eighty six cents once again and no more money in sight until next friday. oh and no food to eat, except a few random items. so im working full weeks again and it feel great. i learned today that i could be making up to 40 bucks an hour in teh next few months. its called piece work and instead of getting paid per hour i would get paid by the square foot. so instead of taking six weeks to do a building with me and someone else and getting paid about 2500 bucks i could do the same thing in the same amount of time and make about 8000 dollars after tax. hmmm does this seem like a good plan. my boss seems to think so cause thats how they like to do it. that way we work harder and faster. the current job im working on is about $250 000 dollars and its only a five month job, four three suite town houses.

anyway sorry about the rambling. so it hasnt rained for a few days and its about to tomorrow. i was going to drive into west vancouver to go to this awesome park but i cant cause it will be wet. crappy! does it feel like this month is just flying by to anyone else. i handed in my hours today and its the 11th of february! i didnt ever know. crazy.

josh (my roommate) has friends out from bc visiting so the house is full and messy and my dad is coming out to see me this week so thatll be interesting. i havent got to much else to say. my cell phone has been temperarilly disconnected on account of me having no money to pay my bill. oops. soon i will have it back and im gonna be changing my plan so i only pay like $30 a month instead of $50 to $60 its crazy.

well off i go. oh and you should all go see the phantom of the opera the parts that i saw were good but i missed about an hour when i fell asleep. so hop to it.

disconnect yourself from the world for just a moment and relax

lori

2005-02-05T15:15:00.000-08:00

hey lori hows about i paint her emerald green! so hot right now! goodness!

saturday, day number six or day number seven?

2005-02-05T15:02:00.000-08:00

just some thought for you all does your week start on sunday or monday? i know some people think that sunday is the first day of the week but i think its mondy personally.

anyway so heidi is gone and things are getting back to normal around here the sun is out the streets are dry. the time to bike is upon us. im getting super excited for vancouver skateparks and weekends off work. i drive by all the good skateparks on my way to work and soon ill be able to hit them up. yeah!

i miss joel. i wonder what goes on in your life we used to be so close to each other. remember the time... me too. so anyway im gonna be coming to visit you in may if you are still around those parts. its gonna be great and this time i promise ill only stay for a week or so! good times.

to everyone back home its gonna be so great to live close to all of you again. except for the fact there are no good parks in manitoba maybe ill have to build my own...again. one day eric be will be done working at the ranch and he might remember that he can bike. i bought a new jacket and some jeans from american eagle for 30 bucks it was a pretty good deal and teh jacket is emerald green and white. green is the new black!

that is all and for the record i love vancouver! yes

a latred eh timbertay octday

2005-02-03T20:29:00.000-08:00

so ive been really tired this week. we started working 8 hour days again so i leave my house at 5:30 am and return at about 5:15pm it makes for a long day. but yeah with my raise in full affect things can only be awesome. we got a bit of rain today but who cares cuase its not raining right now.

i want to paint my bike give me some ideas and maybe ill paint it your color. im so bored right now. holly and heidi and me are going to ikea and oldnavy tomorrow itll be so fun. okay no more ramble.

finding neverland was very good! go see it!

hmmm

2005-02-01T18:46:00.000-08:00

yes so it has miraculously stopped raining out here its so wonderful ive been biking for like four days in a row or something. its wednesday tomorrow and the thrid day of my four day week yippee.

i hate getting crappy emails like "so and so is updating thier address book" clikc here to get your free virus! whatever. i hate them or like just junk mail general. when do you think we will start to get online newpapers delivered to our email everyday with this weeks dominos pizza coupons. interesting thought. im going to see finding neverland tonight with holly and heidi. itll be so fun.

well im going now things are all systems go and normal as par usual.

good morning, oh, and in case i dont see ya, good afternoon, good evening and good night!

a wandering mind

2005-01-30T23:15:00.000-08:00

alot has been going on inside of my little brain for a while now. thoughts about my future and other peoples futures. its amazing when you think about how many thoughts we have or "hey that would be a great idea" ideas. wow!

anyway that is my little thought for this sunday night. work starts up again tomorrow and you guessed it more rain! woohoo! i hate the rain but hey im starting to be content at my job thanks the the man upstairs. me and him have been doing alright and im so pumped about that.

so yeah i realized today that i only have three more months out here in bc then its a month of travelling and back home to stay. im so excited for summer when most of us will be around somewhere sometime. i miss hanging out with everyone. boo. joel buddy let me know what is up with your work thing id love to talk about it with you. and its late and i need to go to bed so ill talk to you later. love you all

okay so today has been awesome

2005-01-25T17:52:00.000-08:00

so yeah sorry to kendra. no means to offend you and im sure you know that but just thought id appolgize anyway. in time my friend. so work was great today. it didnt rain and the view was incredible. i think the only reason i enjoy working over an hour away from home is the view. being able to look out at mountains and ocean and ships and downtown vancouver. man nothing beats that. love it. and did i mention no rain! coul dtoday get any better. hmm yes i could be eating supper right now. well.

so im almost out of my financial head ache. only two more paychecks to go till im out of debt and i will be able to start saving money. so pumped.

so i just thought of something and let me know who else is kinda in the same boat here. so when i lived at home with my family we went on a couple trips one to ottawa and one out to calgary. but one year after i leave my parents are taking my sister to disney land and vegas! wow did i move out to soon huh! oh well let me know if this is your story.

i like how windows xp uses orange and blue at the bottom its so soothing. ahhhhhhh

maybe ill do some night biking tonight. i see that the lights beside the park are on so that means i will be able to see the park.

draw close to God and God will draw close to you

stop work orders suck

2005-01-24T20:57:00.000-08:00

so today me and my boss are on the number one going to west vancouver where we work and his phone rings. who could it be at 6:30am you ask. well it was the superintendant of the site that we work on. he informed us that the city of vancouver had issued a stop work order because of all of the silt run-off from the site. they wanted it to be fixed before anything resumes. so anyway this sucks because usually stop work orders are only issued if things like foundations are cracked or the building is structurally unstable or if something huge is screwed up. and to top it off its hard enough to contain silt(sand mixed with water that runs off of the ground) when you are getting 400mm-600mm of rain in less than a weeks time. so i guess we got the short end of the stick and beaten with the long end. whatever tomorrow is a new day, at least i got a three day weekend. but i suppose i had to pay $120 bucks for a day off which bites cause that is what i would have made today. crappy deal!

anyway that is my beef for today ill have something new soon. yay ill bet you cant wait. yeah right eh.

i think the big question is when will keny get a boyfriend? just jokes, couldnt help myself.

spontaneous bike comp

2005-01-23T21:20:00.000-08:00

so last night at the annual cbc hockey event i noticed a poster on the wall claiming that there was a contest called "canuck huck 1" on sunday here in abbotsford. so anyway i decided that because it was a ditr jumping contest i need to go. right anyway so i got there this morning and the jumps were awesome. there were pros and guys i ride with all time. everyone was going off and it was a blast. i ended up getting 6th place in the amateur catagory. i won a chain! whatever. all i know is that the organization of the comp was horrible and it took forever but hey. if it wasnt for the huge 3 whips and 360 backflips and double tailwhips and truckdrivers and backflips and crashes it would have sucked. oh yeah i threw down a huge three over the second set it was awesome. along with a one footed xup and a table and a couple xups and a sorta turndown. it was a blast. anyway that has been my day so far. its back to work tomorrow for me. i suppose today was pretty good and this week has been good too. i got a raise and i got to bike in a comp.

so anyway i suppose noone is coming to visit us anymore. boo urns is all i have to say about that. i know its a missions trip but hey i dont really care what it is. um yeah i bought some new tools and i got a nice new sweater and that was my week. here we go with a new one.

well its my time to go. this ones for you bro. peace in the middle east. that kinda ryhmed, not planned.

bye

eye just want to live

2005-01-22T11:53:00.000-08:00

well over the past week weve had more rain than we usually get in like three or four months. i know some of you guys love the rain but sreiously, rain is the most depressing thing ever. when it rains for a week straight and stops for an afternoon and then rains for another week straight it just isnt that fun.

on a better note i got a huge raise at my job so i now make $15 an hour. sweet huh. yeah.

so ive been reading all of your blogs and i must say that i feel happy that all of my friends are now out on their own. i wish i could be there to share it with you but alas im not. i know how great it is to be on your own and how awesome it is to not have to answer to parents. you can have people over for night whenever you want. talk on the phone for hours. let the dishes pile up if you so desire. eat cookies and ice cream for breakfast. so many wonderful things that happen when you live on your own.

i have also learned alot from being out on my own. like i can pay the bills budget my money. i clean my apartment. do the dishes everyday. cook my own meals (even though kraft dinner isnt that hard...hahaha). there is something to be said about supporting yourself. like i can skip work but that means that i have $100 less dollars to spend on myself. you see. and also since ive moved out ive become closer to my parents, something which i am very grateful for. now i can finally appreciate the things they taught me. yup i just said it. i appreciate my parents for teaching me things even though i hated to learn them.

so they fianally cut off our free cable so now we have to walk down tha hall to watch tv crappy. at least we still have free internet. my roommates dad is paying for it, we think. i hope i can go biking soon. oh and i guess you guys arent coming out but you really need to come out like maybe the week after or at least sometime before we no longer live out here. anyway im gonna go eat so i can go to mcc and shop and pick holly up from work.

learn to love your life

time for some insight

2005-01-16T18:18:00.000-08:00

i just finished reading all of your blogs and i must say...joel you will always be the best ever...what more can i say about you. as for everyone else i miss you and i miss the old days of high school and youth group and the lack of reality in our lives. for two years now ive been "living the life" working and supporting myself and ive been doing okay. life has taken me on so many curves i must have gone i circle by now right? maybe not. i suppose reading about joannas wedding sparked myt brain to write the thoughts i hold inside.

i dont know if jo reads this but if you do i want you to know that i love you like i always have loved you and that is like a dear friend. i know that we have parted ways and some day we will cross paths again. i cant say this without being hurtful or sounding harsh but here goes. no you know i cant say it. screw it

im out here in abbotsford following a girl and saving up so that i can travel the country in the spring what do i do after that. my apptitude tests all say i am best suited to be some kind of teacher or instructor. what is that supposed to mean. i feel like i have no home i mean i have a home in winkler and i know this but nowhere else can i call home. i miss lethbridge so muchand the good times i had there. maybe one day i can live life like that again. it amazes me to know how different cities and life styles can be from one another. i guess you just have to find your place. as for me i havent yet. abbotsford is far from it.

so people are coming to see me out here soon and thatll be good hopefully by then we will be doen this ice/snow/rain thing we are going through right now. i love meeting new people.

im listening to the killers right now and i like it, my house is clean and thats the way it should be. tomorrow is work again for five days. then a weekend of nothingness again. maybe ill be able to bike next weekend. ill go to whiterock and surrey. i need to get out again im feeling stuck here and like i have nowhere to go. the only places ive been besides abbotsford are the places i work. which reminds me im working in west van right now and i overlook the harbour and all the big boats and the ocean. its nice. okay so my brain is done and i have no more. im hungry and im gonna go eat. one day life will be real again.

what do you think?

snow and work and rent oh my

2005-01-09T16:06:00.000-08:00

so its sunday night and all through the house every flipping thing is stirring even the couch. the tv is on with napoleon dynamite and the people are talking they know what its about. no lights are on, this is quite strange as our electrical bill was through the roof. my bike has dust from a lack of use, i cant wait to give it some abuse. i am now bored of this stupid poem so im going to write a little more normal.

whatever that was. we'll just call it a brain jiggle. anyway so we still have snow and its getting really depressing. all i want to do is bike and i cant. brutal huh. ive been dreaming up plans for my wonder ramp all day and i cant wait until i have the money and the place to build it. i have to go to work tomorrow cant wait! (trying to be opptomistic) i really do hate work though. only a bit longer until i dont have to work there anymore. i got two "sweaters" holly says they look nice, in case you were wondering. im enjoying the puddle from lethbridge.

good news i dotn owe the alberta government anymore! i had owed them over 300 dollars because they are slow and wouldnt put my subsidy papers through but now they are processed and im free and clear. yippee! so i cant wait for a paycheck. only two more weeks! so im really bored now and im going to leave. have a wonderful evening everyone.

the reflections of a broken mirror

2005-01-07T13:55:00.000-08:00

so im just sitting here and its friday. somehow this week flew by and i really didnt go to work. i missed tuesday and wednesday due to alarm clock malfunctions and wednesday i only worked for 5 hours due to the fact that is snowed and today i have the day off because of the weather. and i even got a pay check for 16 hours of stat pay over the holidays so im pretty excited. its amazing how depressed we can get when all we think about is money and how we have none but owe lots. anyone with me on that. yeah anyway yestarday was one of the best days ive had in a long time. if you are feeling like crap abotu life then you better freakin do something about it and i finally did. it feels so good to be almost carefree in life. having the freedom to pay the bills and buy food it feels good. it would feel better if i could have someone buying my food for me and all that jazz but like that will ever happen! i live a somewhat simple life filled with wandering and moving and wokring. not for to much longer though. i cant wait. so yeah im just rambling on and on. we have snow but its only like a few inches deep and it should be gone very soon i hope.

okay enough i cant write to much. i miss winkler and all you winkler peeps out there in the deep freeze. say hi to the beef and the pizza pops for me!

warmfully yours
phil

why am i here again?

2005-01-05T15:25:00.000-08:00

so i recently retunred to the crappy land of british columbia, only to have missed the first two days of work cause of my stupid alarm clock. so hopefully i wont miss my ride tomorrow morning. its warm here and i got to bike on tuesday but it still sucks out here. i might be getting a new job soon i talked to a guy and hes gonna see if id be needed. i drove 24 hours to get to somewhere that i hate. isnt that a great way to start off a new year. i cant wait to get back to manitoba where all my friends are. so yeah thats my little rant. im gonna go eat something now cause thats about all i have to so today. so bye

have you had yours today?

2004-12-23T11:27:00.000-08:00

hello again everyone. well after a long trip home im finally here. actually i got here five days ago but whatever. tonight is jens christmas party and itll be fun to just let go of reality for a minute. by the way this is going to be all over place with a hundred random thoughts, just so you know. ive been working for hollys dad for two days and i like it. who knew that making a kitchen could be so fun. yay. alot of driving has been happening and will continue to happen over the nest while. with one trip to winnipeg under my belt already another is slated for 6:30am on christmas day and then out to killarney just to come back again. wow. and when will i get to sleep in? never is my thought. life has begun and sleep is on a permanent back burner. crappy like a fish! anyway i havent got to much to say other than im hungry and i didnt know so many people had blogs im gonna have to keep up with this thing a little better huh. okay well love you all i think unless you are reading this and i happen to not like you in which case you should get lost! but hey talk to you soon everyone and merry christmas.

sir philip the only

work sucks

2004-12-14T18:13:00.000-08:00

so ive been doing alrigth money is there soon to be gone and i am having a great time out here. aside fromthe rain and work. i got to go biking the other day and that was awesome. i learned one handers again with both hands. sweet. but yeah work is long and horrible. yestarday i left for work at 5:40am and got home at 5:30pm and today was the same except i didnt get home until 6pm. boo hiss. what to do i dotn think i can handle this much longer unless i start getting paid for it. anyway im off to christmas shop and all that good stuff. for all of you who will be interested i will be attending the winkler emm church on sunday the 19th if you would like to see me on my first full day back. its gonna be pretty late on saturday when i roll in. word i ope its not to cold. it was 12 today so hot. well i have to go now so see you all soon.

oh and im picking up j funk in lethbridge for some good times on teh way back not to mention cam thiessen and brittney fehr sweet. see ya

phil

its all about money

2004-11-20T18:39:00.000-08:00

k so i found a new place to live that is closer to holly so im pretty stoked. its a two bedroom apartment and im going to be living with a guy named josh who goes to school with holly. yeah and its actually going to be cheaper than the place im in now so yeehaw! money is going to get tight in the next few weeks as i have to buy a bunch of stuff for work like rain gear and tools and such so that sucks but hey. my car is running like a well bread stalion and i havent had any problems yet since it was fixed. once again, however, more money will be needed for new tires in the near future. right now im at the school as i usually am all the time using the internet and soon i will be going mini golfing with a bunch of friends. holly is off to vancouver tonight for a concert with her choir. tomorrow they are singing hear and following my family tradition i will be video taping this event for all to see. it might interest you to know that our dear holly will be performing with none other than shane weibe from canadian idol. oh yeah she is. work is alright its dirty and dangerous. we are working with a material called hardy board and when cut the dust can cause lung cancer if inhailed. that was a stupid sentance but hey. yeah so i get to wear a resperator when i work, and a hard hat. its an eight story building and we work on scaffolding that surrounds it. anyway not to much else to talk about.

we went to alberat last weekend and that was good got to bike in lethbridge and at millenium. got to see joel funk my eternal roommate and mike dueck of the duecks. but yeah ill be going cause you are probably sick of my lack of grammer and punctuation.

peace

this is simply a test

2004-11-19T17:49:00.000-08:00

test blah blah blah